


bad case of loving you

by leetheshark



Category: Saw (Movies)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Cheating, Flirting, M/M, Oral Sex, Sad Ending, Smoking, accidental feelings, safe sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-13
Updated: 2018-10-13
Packaged: 2019-08-01 08:34:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16281182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leetheshark/pseuds/leetheshark
Summary: David gets to know Dr. Lawrence Gordon.(Or: the AU where the person Lawrencealmostcheats with is David.)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this because i wanted to read it and it didn't exist
> 
> shout out to my beta for telling me how a pager works

David rode the elevator down, drumming his fingers against his thighs to the song stuck in his head. It had been a long shift, and it wasn’t anywhere near over. David was dying to go home, but now, he was needed on the second floor.

The elevator stopped, dinging as the doors opened. Someone stepped on. A doctor.

David didn’t often recognize people. People at the hospital didn’t pay attention to him, so he didn’t pay attention to them. He recognized this one, though.

Dr. Lawrence Gordon. Oncology department.

David passed by Dr. Gordon’s office often and had tended to patients while Dr. Gordon was in the room. He’d never spoken to him, though. David decided he might as well change that.

“Hey, doctor,” he said, casually.

The doctor turned to David, perplexed. “Do I know you?”

It didn’t surprise David that Gordon didn’t remember him—he seemed like the type who rarely paid attention to anyone but himself. He was a good-looking guy, though. David couldn’t deny that, and he couldn’t deny that he’d noticed.

He knew he probably shouldn’t, but a little flirting couldn’t hurt anyone, right?

“Not yet,” David said, flashing his best smile. It tended to get him what he wanted.

It worked.

The elevator dinged. Before he stepped out, Gordon gave David an amused smirk.

A reaction from the aloof doctor. David took it as a reward.

  


* * *

  


David was _such a fucking asshole,_ and he really hated himself right about now.

Normally, David put a lot of care into his work. Sure, he was bitter about his job sometimes, but he genuinely cared about his patients and tried to do what was best for them.

It just got _boring_ sometimes. So what difference did it make if David listened to music while he changed bed sheets or mopped floors? He had been scolded a few times for wearing his headphones at work, but he didn’t get what the big deal was.

Maybe, he now reflected, it was to keep him from distractedly barreling into doctors and spilling their coffee everywhere.

David got ready to chew out the asshole who wasn’t watching where he was going, but then he realized that _he_ was the asshole who wasn’t watching where he was going. And then he looked up from his coffee-soaked scrubs and saw who it was he had just bumped into. _Shit._

“Shit,” he said, then mentally cursed himself for cursing in front of the respected doctor. “Sorry, Dr. Gordon.”

“Ah,” Gordon started, surveying the damage to his shirt and tie. “It’s alright. It was my fault.”

He bent down to pick up his now-empty styrofoam cup, and rested his hand on David’s shoulder on his way back up to his full height.

Then, after smiling at the stunned and soaking orderly, Dr. Gordon walked off.

David kind of wanted to scream. He thought that he maybe deserved an award for the worst second impression of all time. If Dr. Gordon even remembered the first one.

After finding and putting down a wet floor sign, David headed to the locker room to change his scrubs and try not to die of embarrassment.

  


* * *

  


Over the next few weeks, whenever David saw Dr. Gordon, he tried to make small talk. The doctor wasn’t very talkative, and was often in a hurry, but he gave his sincere-looking smiles more and more freely, and David happily accepted them.

On occasion, David noticed the doctor watching him as he tended to patients, especially the younger ones. David was great with kids—his nieces and nephews loved him, and he loved them, too. He brought his experience with children to work, and was the orderly of choice for many of the youngest patients. He liked to cheer them up in any way he could. A few times, he even made the kids laugh by making fun of Dr. Gordon. He was careful not to do it when the doctor was around.

When he was around, though, David liked it just as much. It felt good to be noticed, especially when he was doing something right.

  


* * *

  


After he paid for his lunch, David took his full tray and scanned the cafeteria for empty seats. He almost always ate alone, but when he spotted Dr. Gordon sitting by himself at a table for two, David jumped at the chance.

“Hey, Dr. Gordon,” he said as he slid into the seat across from the doctor.

Noticing David, Gordon looked pleased. “Hey,” he echoed. It sounded a little awkward coming from him, but sweet. Then, he leaned forward and, with an amount of charm that wasn’t lost on David, said, “I never caught your name.”

Was Gordon putting on the charm for _him?_ Well, David wasn’t complaining. He grinned, feeling a little triumphant. “It’s David,” he said.

Gordon sat back, drawing David in with his eyes. His smile brought out his cheekbones. “So what brought you to this career, David?”

David ate his lunch with Gordon, and told him all about how he wanted to be a doctor when he was a kid, and ended up doing this instead.

“You know, a lot of the time people don’t expect it from me, but I like taking care of people,” he said in between bites of his sandwich. “It’s just there’s a lot of bullshit in my job description too.”

 _Goddamnit._ David really needed to learn to watch his tongue.

Luckily, Gordon just laughed.

David learned a little about Gordon, too.

He learned that Gordon was born in London and came to New York before high school. He graduated Harvard Medical School in 1989 at the top of his class. That made David feel young, and all the doctor’s accomplishments made him feel insignificant in comparison, but Gordon’s kind gaze dissolved all of that and made David feel like he was interesting, too.

David didn’t find out much about the doctor’s personal life. He figured the man didn’t have much of one. Gordon seemed like the type, a workaholic.

David was enjoying getting to know him.

Gordon listened raptly when David talked about his childhood, growing up with two older sisters in Queens. One of his hands was resting on the table, quite close to David’s. Testing the waters, David inched his hand forward, brushing the doctor’s fingertips with his own. Even the brief touch was exciting. Gordon drew his hand away, but smiled all the same.

  


* * *

  


It was difficult for David to deny his growing crush on Dr. Gordon, especially when he found his thoughts wandering to the man at night.

He thought about looking into the doctor’s blue eyes up close. He thought about what it would be like to playfully lick Gordon’s lips before kissing them. He thought about Gordon’s hands, and what they could do.

It would probably never happen.

Still, it wasn’t like David had anyone better to fantasize about, or anyone in his life, really. He would go on dates if he could get them, but work took up most of his time, and he wasn’t that interested in any of his friends from the hospital.

Except, well, was Dr. Gordon his friend? Maybe.

  


* * *

  


David was eating his lunch alone when Dr. Gordon surprised him.

“Hello, David,” he said, suave as ever, as he slid into the seat across from David with his tray. “When do you get off?”

David choked. “What?”

“Your shift.”

“Oh. Uh.” David’s eyes wandered to the ceiling as he tried to recall his schedule. “Six.”

Gordon kept his voice low. “Can you meet me in the fourth floor storage closet at 6:05?”

David was stunned. “Yeah.”

“Good.”

David looked at the clock on the wall. It was almost time for his next shift. “I have to go.”

“Alright,” Gordon said calmly. “I’ll see you later.”

“Yeah,” David replied. He got up, disposed of his tray, and barely kept it together for the rest of the day.

  


* * *

  


David tried desperately to keep his cool as he took the elevator down to the fourth floor.

So it was happening. Maybe. He would have liked more of a warning, but he was okay with this. David was okay with whatever Dr. Gordon wanted.

As he approached the storage closet, he checked that no one was around. When he slipped inside, he was alone. He didn’t wear a watch, since it interfered with the extra long sleeves he preferred for his street clothes, so he didn’t know what time it was, but he guessed that he was early.

Dr. Gordon showed up a few minutes later, looking a little tense. He crowded into David’s space, impossible not to do in the cramped storage closet. David looked up into his eyes. He was tall, but didn’t bear his height intimidatingly. David drank in the closeness, breathing the doctor’s scent, feeling the warmth of his body.

Relatively sure that he was allowed to—that that was what this was—David put his hands on the doctor’s forearms, a gentle touch, and tried for a kiss. He was close enough to feel Gordon’s breath on his lips when Gordon’s hands tightened on his forearms, halting him.

“I’m married,” he said.

David’s heart sank. “Sorry. I’ll back off.”

“No.” Gordon released his grip on David’s arms, but his hands stayed there, hot against David’s bare skin where the short sleeves of his scrubs exposed his arms. “You don’t have to.”

David inhaled sharply. “Okay,” was all he could think to say.

“Are you free tonight?”

David nodded.

“Would you like to see me?”

“Yeah.”

“Good. I’d like to see you.” Gordon gave David the name of a hotel that David recognized. “How would you like to meet me there?”

“Sure. Totally.”

“Excellent.” The doctor’s eyes went to David’s ID badge, clipped to his breast pocket. He took it between his fingers, angling it to read it more easily. “I’ll make a reservation in your name.”

David nodded, absorbing the plan. He wondered if Dr. Gordon had done this before.

“I need you to page me, so I have an excuse to leave home. Here’s my number.” Gordon took a slip of paper from his pocket and handed it to David. Their fingers brushed. “I’ll be expecting you after ten. Don’t page me before then.”

“Got it.”

“Good. Can you bring condoms and lubricant? I’ll pay you back. I can’t be seen buying those things.” Gordon’s voice was low, as if someone might hear him, even in here.

“Sure,” David said.

“Water-based, please.”

“No problem.”

David could see in the doctor’s eyes that he was nervous. Maybe Gordon hadn’t done this before.

David was a little startled by the gravity of the situation. Dr. Gordon was married, and he was being reckless—and for what? For a cheap thrill? Was he bored with his marriage? Or was this all just for David?

Nah. David wasn’t that special.

Some older guys were just like that, he guessed.

Gordon made it clear, once again, that David was not to page him before ten, under any circumstances. Normally, David would respond sarcastically to something like that, but he just nodded and watched the doctor leave.

He waited a few minutes to leave, himself, to be discreet.


	2. Chapter 2

David stopped to pick up the condoms and lube on his way home. He figured he might as well get the more expensive stuff if the doctor was paying for it. Maybe Gordon would even appreciate it.

By the time he got back to his apartment, David was a little jittery.

He told himself that it didn’t make sense to be nervous. It wasn’t like he was the one cheating on his wife.

The thought made him feel kind of sick.

But fuck it, he decided. It wasn’t his problem. If the hot doctor didn’t cheat with David, he’d probably cheat with someone else.

Yeah.

Probably.

David smoked a little to calm his nerves and played some video games to kill the time. When he still had an hour before he had to leave, he decided to start getting ready. He stripped in front of the mirror, giving his body a once over, wondering if Gordon would want to see all of it, hoping that he would. He padded, naked, to the bathroom, where he took a shower and brushed his teeth, before going back to his bedroom to get dressed.

David felt immensely lucky that the clothes he was looking for were clean. A pair of black briefs that he thought made his ass look good—he checked himself out in the mirror again, to be sure. Then, a black button-down that was probably the best shirt in his closet, and the jeans he had worn to work that day before changing into his scrubs.

He slipped on his leather jacket before leaving for the hotel, cigarettes in his pocket, plastic bag of illicit convenience store goods in his hand. He brought his Game Boy, in case he had to wait, and the slip of paper Gordon gave him, taking extra care not to forget it. He got to the hotel a few minutes early, and it was barely past ten when David got into the room. He double-checked the time before paging the doctor on the hotel phone. Now, it was time to wait. He put the plastic bag on the nightstand, took off his jacket, and lay down on the bed.

David tried not to let his nerves get to him. He desperately wanted to smoke, but he didn’t want Gordon to taste it on him, so he busied himself by playing on his Game Boy instead. Twenty minutes passed before he heard a knock at the door, and he jumped up to answer it.

David opened the door and there was Gordon, still in his clothes from work. David stepped aside to let him in, and Gordon closed the door behind him.

“I’m glad you could make it,” Gordon said, after he set his briefcase down and shed his suit jacket. Both were left on the chair by the door.

David nodded, not sure what to say. He reached out to take Gordon’s hand, feeling its warmth with his own, before letting it drop.

Gordon spoke like he was hiding something. He was, after all, but not from David. “How much were the, um. Supplies?”

Distracted by Gordon, it took David a second to remember. “Uh. Like twenty-five bucks.”

Gordon took out his wallet and slipped out two twenties, offering them to David and looking so stunningly nonchalant and rich that David felt his cheeks heat up.

David pocketed the money and tried not to look too affected.

They moved to the bed, a bubble of tension still surrounding them, and sat together on the edge. Gordon spoke softly.

“You can call me Larry,” he said. “If you want to.”

It wasn’t the sexiest nickname, David thought, but it was kind of sweet. “Cool,” he said.

When David looked into Gordon’s eyes, they shared a look, each of them seeming to communicate the same thing: _I want you—let’s do this._

David started to unbutton his shirt, eager to get the doctor’s eyes and hands on him. Gordon’s eyes lingered on David’s chest, and then on his face, and when the doctor leaned in to David’s space, David gave himself wholeheartedly.

Gordon’s nose awkwardly bumped David’s at first, his breath ghosting David’s mouth, intoxicating in his closeness. And then, his mouth was on David’s, warm and hungry. Gordon kissed like he was searching for something, and David had everything that he wanted.

Kissing him was addicting.

David finished shedding his shirt in a hurry, and Gordon followed. When they had both undressed to their briefs, David wasted no time climbing into the doctor’s lap. He kissed Gordon messily, loving the sandpaper rasp of Gordon’s long day’s stubble and the way his broad hands tightened on David’s bare waist. Gordon’s cock grew harder as David writhed in his lap, and the feeling of it between his legs was driving David wild.

“God, you’re perfect,” Gordon mumbled, taking a break from the kiss to breathe. David’s skin tingled all over from his touch. He was already so hard he couldn’t stand it. “What do you want to do?”

David didn’t even have to think about it. “You wanna fuck me?”

“Hell yes,” Gordon practically growled, before putting David in bodily for another, violent kiss.

“Finger me first,” David mumbled against Gordon’s lips. Gordon nodded between kisses, almost hesitant to have David leave his arms. When David climbed out of his lap, Gordon got up and went over to his briefcase. David watched with piqued interest as Gordon retrieved a box of latex gloves.

“Did you swipe those from the hospital?” David asked, grinning.

Gordon smiled, too. “I may have,” he said, and when he came back to bed, whispered in David’s ear, “Lie on your stomach for me.”

David was quick to follow the doctor’s order. He got comfortable on his stomach, pillowing his head on his crossed arms. He spread his legs a little bit, hoping that he made an enticing sight, and judging by Gordon’s soft noise of approval as he ran his hand over David’s ass cheek, he did.

Gordon made quick work of removing David’s briefs before kneeling between his legs. David waited patiently while Gordon prepared. He didn’t have to wait long before he felt Gordon’s hand spreading his cheeks, and a blunt finger, gloved and wet with lube, circling his hole. It pushed inside, followed by a second when David wiggled his hips, trying to show that he could take it.

“How’s that feel?” Gordon asked. With his free hand, he stroked up and down the back of David’s thigh.

“Feels good,” David slurred. He was content to lie there and let the doctor take care of him. When Gordon started to plunge his fingers in and out, David moaned softly and squirmed, his hard cock leaking onto the sheets.

The doctor found David’s prostate with ease and proceeded to work him until he was seeing stars. And when he felt that David was ready, Gordon withdrew his hand for one agonizing second before returning with three fingers and carrying on his methodical, _fucking incredible_ fingering.

As much as David was loving getting fucked by Gordon’s fingers, he didn’t really want to come from rubbing his cock against the mattress, especially before he could get Gordon’s dick inside him. “Hey Doc, I’m ready for you,” he said, and because he was feeling a little cheeky, slurred, “Come on and fuck me already.”

“As you wish,” Gordon said, pulling his fingers out for good. He got up to dispose of the glove and David rose to his knees to watch him, feeling hot all over and a little dazed.

On his way back to bed, Gordon kept his hungry eyes on David as he slid his briefs down and off, freeing his cock. It was flushed and thick, and David stared openly, wetting his lips.

As soon as he could get his hands on Gordon again, David practically attacked him, kissing him hard and pushing him down to straddle his hips. When David broke the kiss, Gordon looked up at him in awe, his pupils blown and his lips flushed and shining.

Breathless, he said, “I’m all yours, you gorgeous thing.”

David shivered. Gordon’s praises were like nothing he had ever heard before.

David fumbled with a condom and lube, getting Gordon ready with single-minded focus. When he was done, he rose up on his knees, bracing himself with one hand on Gordon’s chest. With the other, he lined up Gordon’s dick and began slowly working himself down onto it, unable to keep quiet as it filled him up. “Fuck,” David groaned, rocking his hips and getting used to the feeling of Gordon inside him. “Your dick is awesome.”

Gordon’s breathless chuckle was cut off by a silent groan as David sped up his hips and began to ride him in earnest. He dug his fingers into David’s hips, hard, and let his head fall back into the mattress, baring his neck.

David wanted to mark it up.

Gordon would _kill him._

He chased the thought away, focusing instead on the action at hand—it was easy to give the doctor his full attention. Gordon was rambling about how beautiful and perfect David was and David basked in it, feeling almost like he was the only one.

David wanted to do this forever.

After a while, though, his legs got tired, so he bent down to whisper in Gordon’s ear, “You wanna get on top?”

“Yes, God, anything you want.”

Gordon took charge, maneuvering David onto his back with a pillow under his hips before pushing into him again. He set his own brutal rhythm that had David going weak with pleasure.

It was even better, David thought, than riding Gordon. From here, David could lie back and watch Gordon work, hot as hell with his chest and cheeks flushed pink and his curling hair sticking to his sweat-damp forehead. David ran his fingertips down Gordon’s chest, feeling his chest hair and the warmth of his skin. Dr. Lawrence Gordon during sex was a sight David counted himself lucky to see, and he drank it in as Gordon pounded into him.

David was close to coming.

He started to grab for his cock, but Gordon stopped him. “Don’t. I want to make you come.”

“Fuck,” David breathed. “Okay.” _God,_ Gordon was killing him. He surrendered, burning with arousal, and Gordon continued to take everything that David enthusiastically gave.

Being with Gordon like this… having been lonely at work and touch-starved at home… it was everything David needed.

Gordon’s wide blue eyes were fixed, worshipful, on David’s face, until they slipped shut with his climax. He groaned as he came inside David, his whole body tensing, and took a few seconds to recover, pressing his forehead against David’s and panting hard. _So close._ David luxuriated in the closeness while it lasted, and watched Gordon with wide-blown eyes as he came away from David, tied off the condom and tossed it in the trash bin, and moved down David’s body.

“You’ll have to bear with me,” he said. “I haven’t done this in a long time.”

Then, he reached for a condom packet and ripped it open, before _finally_ taking hold of David’s red, aching cock and sliding the condom onto it. He bowed his head and smoothly took David between his lips. David let his eyes flutter shut, nearly overwhelmed by the feeling of the doctor’s mouth on him. Gordon began to bob his head over David’s cock and it wasn’t long before David felt himself getting close again. This time, he fully intended to ride it out. His hands shook against Gordon’s hair as he tried not to pull. He could barely keep his hips still. He didn’t even care that he was babbling. “Fuck. Dr. Gordon. Fuck. Larry. _Fuck._ ”

David came in the doctor’s mouth harder than he had ever come in his life.

After, David watched in a daze as Gordon pulled off of him, discarded the condom, and lay down by his side. Still catching his breath, David turned to him and panted, “Holy shit. That was incredible.”

“You were incredible,” Gordon insisted, taking David’s jaw in his hand and kissing him.

Gordon settled back down into the mattress, saying nothing for a long while. David was content just to lie beside the older man. He was too exhausted to do anything else.

After a while, though, David noticed a change in Gordon.

_Oh God, was he crying?_

David panicked.

“Hey,” he said. “Larry. What’s wrong?”

Gordon had a hand over his mouth. His breathing was shallow, and his eyes were wet. “I think I made a mistake.”

David winced. It didn’t feel good to hear. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.”

That probably wasn’t true.

“I like you, David,” Gordon continued. “I’m sorry I dragged you into this.”

David rested his head on Gordon’s shoulder. “Hey. It’s okay,” he said. “I won’t tell anyone.”

“It’s not okay,” Gordon said, rubbing David’s back. “But thank you.” He held David and turned his face away from the younger man. David could feel Gordon’s body shake.

 _God,_ David had _fucked up so bad._

But David stayed, because he didn’t know what else he could do for Gordon, because the solid warmth of Gordon beside him was comforting, because David needed someone, too.

When Gordon finally got up, he took a long time in the shower. David took the opportunity to smoke a cigarette. After, David watched Gordon dress, still in bed and wearing nothing but his briefs. “Are you leaving?” David asked.

Gordon nodded. His face was composed. “I should go home to my wife and daughter.”

He looked just as professional as he had when he came here. Like just as much of a stand-up guy as he had before all of this.

David was going to miss him.

He got up on shaky legs and approached Gordon at the door. He lifted his chin up to kiss Gordon on the cheek, and Gordon let him.

“Will I see you again?” David asked.

“We work together, don’t we?”

It was a sad consolation.

When had David begun to want more than this? Why had he expected it?

Gordon gave David a sad smile. And then, he was gone, the door was closed, and David was alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [hit me up on tumblr](http://geislieb.tumblr.com)


End file.
